Monday, January 26, 2015

further study

planned with anas to study abroad together since we were schoolmates. lets make that real and not just empty words. lets finish our study there ( If Allah wills ) kena banyak solat hajat and solat dhuha and solat tahajud lah kan.? 

having this pure science stream for me, cant say its easy. yes its tough. studying is a no for me eventho my results were kinda hmm Alhamdulillah . cukup makan ja . those questions of "both of your parents work as architect and interior designer but i cant see where does it goes to you and your siblings." darah seni tu takda dalam kitorang katanya., i started to do some research about what type of courses that i could take after getting my results. 3 March, hmm , dead meat. Thinking to take foundation at UPM , continue to UM for chemical engineering course for a few years. oil and gas seems really interesting to me. and, chemical engineering are one of those branches to oil and gas. seems like everything is falling perfectly to its places. until that one day.

babah bought those equipments. you know the lights and all those things. took a few pictures and gained positive comments. started to question myself, will i be successful if i get involved in this kind of industry. asked kak irene about some stuff of engineering since she was once a successful engineer. the day he left me, i wasn't sure anymore whether i should go to UPM. well obviously at the first place i choosed upm sebab silat and side dish was near to him. but then, it gives me this kind of i hate to go there. pfft. so that night ( where sepatutnya aku menangis and everything since he left me that morning (( i sounds so pathetic. what even? )) but instead i had fun , lol ) ada birthday bash kat golden horses . lepas keluar dengan yuyui terus pi the mines. rabak. haha. so ada cousins punya gathering. kak irene and kak dini gave their opinions on how and what should i do.

you know, I myself still in dilemma of what i should choose. yeah, banyak sijil in photography than other things. been official photographer for silat since i was form 1. hmm, trying to apply for sunway college since dia ada buat some kind of twinning program. 2 years in Malaysia and 1 year in USA. even abang kamal cakap "kalau boleh belajar luar negara pergi lah fari." i dont know. applying some scholarship and see how things goes well. We can only planned, The One who will make things happen is Him

p/s : it was a good chance to get to know you through heart. A few things need to be cleared out, just if you read this ( obviously you wont ) dont think this will make any difference (please no hard feels) so cam yeah why not. i have my pride too to tell you the truth. so yeap ;

no, im not mad at you for your tweets. i was devastated when i read that. some kind of unwell feelings. it was your choice after all. not mine. i was just tagging along with you. how can I EXPECT you to just let it go that easy? HELLOOOO? you are the one who told me that you'll try to forget her. do you remember me telling you this kind of things when we were facetime? "you know im not sure about this but if there is still leftover feelings, then this wont work" it brings awkwardness but you said what to me? you told me "please stay" yeah just me dumbly stays alone and you suddenly changed and act so cold to me. Promised to stay and wouldnt do the same things as what they did? hmm, your promises. funny kan? I HATE BLAMING OTHERS. it takes two to tango. its my fault and yours too, but the thing that youve sent to me, as if im the only one that should be blame on. why? you are not even ready and you didnt even think carefully? you are the one who gives me hope. is the memory still with you where i was kinda ignored those lovely chat and you said you hate that to happen?  kalau saya pernah ada relationship yang awak ada ? yeah right, my 3 years with him was something to laugh kan?

look, im sorry too. i just dont like doing this to others. but i hate to think that this is just my fault. whatever you'll do goodluck with that. and why do you even need to treat me that cold? even chee hang didnt. he still treat me better than you. i dont care what others think of you. but i hate you for making me a rebound.  

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